Lynne and her Famous Amos

I had a 'little' wine last night. And maybe a margarita. Or two. We had dinner with an amazing, darling couple that we've gotten to know through our dogs.

Yesterday, Lynne and her hubby, Amos ("Famous Amos"), were driving by when they saw us walking Milo (we were dog-sitting Milo for a day from the rescue, so you can call him a 'loaner' dog...more on Milo later). They didn't know about Nick yet and I told them that we'd lost Nick on Tuesday. Of course, I reduced myself to a rubble of tears recounting the sad tale. They invited us over for dinner so we could tell tales of our beloved puppies.

Lynne and Amos are the sweetest and most interesting couple I know. Their Mackie Marshmallow went to doggie heaven last August. Gosh, she was such a golden beauty to behold. Mackie is the Golden Retreiver Nick decided to "nip" last year. Amos was not happy that Nick tried to nibble on his little golden girl, and I don't blame him. I told Nick to find Mackie in heaven and apologize to her. We had drinks on the deck in their outrageously gorgeous backyard. It was in that backyard that Nick misbehaved with Mackie. Boys!!!

Lynne and Amos prepared a fantastic feast and the Pinot Gris went down very easy. I mean verrrrry easy. Yum. I loved talking about our Nicholas and their golden girl, Mackie. We discussed what dogs mean to us and how they just fill us with contentment and joy simply by being with us. Lynne and I are on the same page about how we deal with our grief and our period of mourning. We need more time than the guys have needed.

For example, I had the hardest time not thinking of Nick every time I looked at poor little Milo. Ed thought of Nick also, but he was able to give Milo his own well deserved attention and affection separate from what he felt about Nick's loss. I couldn't do that for Milo. It broke my heart because that poor doggie has done nothing wrong and I felt like I was punishing him by not being able to give him the unbridled affection he craved. I just couldn't. All I could see was my Nick's sweet face and all I could think was how much I wanted Milo to be Nick. I felt awful, and yet there was nothing I could do to block those unfair thoughts that kept creeping into my head. I was a wreck and kept breaking down in tears.

Ed and Amos are different though. Ed is completely devastated about losing Nick and misses him so much. But, somehow he is able to separate the emotion of missing Nick and process of grieving for Nick from the longing he has for another dog to adopt. He misses Nick AND he misses having a dog. Those two things are completely separate for Ed, and the same goes for Amos. Both of them could adopt another dog right now and be able to begin a new love relationship with their canine buddy. For me, and for Lynne, it is so much more difficult. Our emotions are much more intertwined. They are not as easily separated for us as it is for the guys. I miss Nick like crazy and I miss having Nick for a dog...I do not necessarily miss having another dog. Does that make sense?

I know that everyone deals with the loss of a pet differently and I completely respect that. We are humans and none of us are like the other. It is just difficult when two people are together and their grief process is as different as ours is, and we have to make decisions about future dogs while keeping the other's needs in mind. It is stressful and the situation asks for lots of compromising.

Anyway, dinner with Lynne and Amos was just what we needed and I couldn't be more grateful to them for opening their home to us on a lonely Sunday evening. Lynne wants to bring back the Sunday supper and I'm with her all the way. It is such a warm and loving event and all it is really is good food and good friends on an arbitrary day of the week. I loved it. I also loved the fact that Amos loves blues music! Yay for me!

We walked home in a slightly inebriated stupor. I crashed still clothed in my jeans and running shoes. Woke up around 2:30 in the morning. I was crying in my sleep, but I can't remember what I was dreaming. Took off my shoes, wiped the tears and snot off my pillow and went right back to sleep.