I think Nick sent me a rainbow.

I was driving into downtown this evening and the sun was beginning its descent. One of my favorite blues song was blaring. I was missing Nick pretty badly right then. I was thinking of how much he loved his yogurt, apple and blueberry smoothie. I couldn't get the blueberry stains off his whiskers. He'd eventually lick them clean though.

One of the lines in the song is, "You're gonna miss me darlin' when I'm gone..." My throat closed and the tears welled up. I sighed and said "oh my sweet boy, I miss you so much right now, I miss you so very, very much" and just let the tears roll down my face.

At that moment I was rounding a bend in the highway and the clouds parted. A rainbow shot right through the part in the cloud. A RAINBOW. A RAINBOW. It completely freaked me out! It was like something out of a movie the way it appeared right at the moment when I told Nick how much I missed him. I got hard, painful goose bumps all over my body. I had to get off the highway because I couldn't keep my car in the lane.

I pulled over on the highway shoulder to get my bearings. I've seen rainbows, but I have never seen the actual forming of a rainbow before. It was so quick!!! It shot through the part in the clouds and just hung there twinkling in the sunset. It just hung there. It was so darned beautiful. I wish I could put into words how beautiful it looked. Aaaargh, I'm crying all over again right now just remembering it.

I put my hazard blinkers on and just sat in my car crying. Oh man, I bawled pretty hard for a few minutes. I took some pictures with my cell phone. I had to. It was amazing. Truly amazing. I had to get pictures. I wished Ed were with me to see it.

Oh, Nick, was that rainbow yours baby boy? I'd like to think so. I want to think so. I need to think so. I break apart every time I remember you and I need to believe it was you.

I'd like to think you wanted to let me know that you're happy and comfortable in heaven. That's what I want most. I know you sometimes hear me praying how much I wish you were back here with us. But, you know that all I really want is for you to be happy up in your special place. I'm sending you a thousand kisses baby love.

Thank you for the rainbow, sweet love. You knew your mommy needed a little lift.

p.s. I called daddy and he said he also saw the rainbow in the east when he was over by the dog park. He is doggie-sitting Milo and was taking him for a walk when your rainbow showed up. (Hey Nick, what do you think of Milo? Just wondering.)