Have you seen this child?

Milo: "Hey bro. Pssst. Pssst. Can you hear me? I'm talkin' to ya dude!"

Achilles: "What?! Can't you see I'm busy drinking my refreshing filtered water. Whaddya want?"

M: "Don't you see it? What the hell is THAT?"

A: "What the hell is what? Whaddya talkin' about?"

M: "Boy, you really are a 13 year old geriatric geezer. Are you goin' blind in your old age or do you just NOT see this little rat thing between us?"

A: "Whoaaa man. Check that out. What the hell is that thing?!"

M: "I don't know brother. Something momma brought home from the wilds of North County. She says it's a dog and that he spent the night under her car. She found him this morning cold and shivering."

A: "Dog? Huh. Looks like a giant rat to me."

M: "I'm with ya big brother. Let's see what he's made of."

A: "Wow, momma got him a special water bowl and all. Not cool, man, not cool."

M: "Yeah, I know. But he doesn't get a cool stand like we do."

A: "True, true. Hey, what's with the curly pom-pom thing on his ass?"

M: "I think that's his tail."

A: "Noooo! Seriously? Are you sure he's a boy? Maybe mom's mistaken and he's really a girl dog. I've never seen one our buddies with a curly pom-pom on his ass."

M: "Naaah, I heard her tellin' poppa that she "checked", whatever the hell that means."

M: "Dude! Achilles man, ya gotta help me! Ratman is trying to jack all our toys and plushies. Quick! Hide them as fast as you can. I've got the sheep, you get all the ducks and the Hurl-a-Squirrel!

A: "Got it! Keep him distracted and I'll hide the stash in our closet."

M: "Look at him, just workin' it for the camera. He's trying to steal our momma's heart, I just know it!"

A: "Yeah, he can work the camera all he wants but I'm not worried. Momma told poppa she's taking the picture so she can post it around the neighborhood and at the pet store. She's trying to find Ratman's humans."

M: "Whew! That's great news. I heard Ratman growlin' at big bro Cap'n Morgan. He's got some nerve man."

A: "Yeah, I hear ya. Let's keep an eye on our green feathered brother. Ratman can't be trusted just yet."

M: "Awww, man, Achilles! Are you sure? He's really hammin' it up for the camera. I don't trust him. I think he's trying to steal our momma!"

A: "Hmmm, you may be right. Let's go over and give her kisses to remind her who REALLY loves her."

M: "Mmmmmm, I don't know about that big bro. She seems pretty mad at the television right now. I think the Bears might be trying to give the game away to the Giants. She's yelling something awful at poppa's big screen. Maybe we should wait until later?"

A: "Nope, I'm going over to plop my ass down right next to her and cheer on the Bears. You should come too. That always wins her over."

M: "Ok, let's go!"

A: "Make sure Ratman doesn't follow us...."