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In about 5 hours I am going to wake up, shower, pack, and be on my way to our annual office retreat at:

http://www.orcasrec.com/mexico.htm

Any other year, any other time, I would be thrilled to pieces to go on an all expenses paid vacation to such a beautiful place. But, not this year. Not right now.

I am not ungrateful. I am completely aware of how blessed I am to have such an incredible, generous boss. Trust me, I KNOW.

But, I am just simply wiped out ladies and gentlemen. I am tired. I have been going non-stop for MONTHS and I just want it all to stop already. I sometimes used to complain about how predictable our weekends could get, you know, teach spin class, come home, walk our pups, breakfast, watch sports, read, dinner, a movie, Sunday morning walks, some chores, and simply hanging out.....ya, those were our weekends 99% of the time. I cannot for the life of me remember the last weekend we had that was like that! I think it may have been in January.

So, nothing can be further from what I want to do this weekend than getting on a plane and going far away from what makes me the happiest: the love of my life, my furbabies, our home, our routines, our time together. I just want to be with all that around me. I want to soak in the perfection of that happiness that my home life brings to me. It is just so precious to me. I don't want to be thousands of miles away without them. I just don't.

I remind myself that I am lucky and blessed to be working in an amazing office with a wonderful group of coworkers. I could not ask for a better environment in which to exist professionally right now. However, after the year of the remodel, the ass crazy family drama, our wedding, our trip, and all of our stresses combined, my idea of R&R does not include four days with people I spend time with the most waking hours of a week.

I know that the majority of Blogistan will not feel any sympathy for me, and believe me, I know I wouldn't for Blogistanis if they were sitting here typing this. But, this is what I feel. I cannot help it. I will go on our retreat and I will have a good time in Puerto Vallarta. But, no matter how incredibly amazing and heavenly and luxurious this place is, it is not where I want to be this weekend.

I won't be here to hand out candy to the kids just as we have together for the past five years. I won't be here to see my precious furbabies running to the door, tails wagging, with every knock from miniature ghouls and goblins. I will be without my Belov-Ed. Without my pups. Without my bird. Away from home. I miss it already. I want to be home.