10 Years Ago Today...

...I was in Chicago, sitting on the floor eating breakfast with my grandmother in my parents' home. I was in town to attend my best friend's wedding. We were watching the Today Show when it was interrupted with breaking news. Our world was forever altered.

One of my most vivid memories from that morning is that of my grandmother's face, drenched in tears, as she sat there swaying back in forth in her little corner, praying for innocent humans jumping from the Twin Towers. The ball of ice in the pit of my stomach, as my grandmother whispered that he would rather fly free in his final moments, rather than burn a horrible, painful death.

While I completed chores and drafted documents for the office, I watched a lot of the 9-11 rememberance coverage. I cried. I cried a lot. It is asked that we never forget, that we always remember. While I will never forget 9-11 as a tragic entity of a memory in and of itself, it was interesting how much of the little details I'd forgotten over the decade. Smaller stories of heroes, who was where and when, and how long the digging and uncovering actuall took. So, I am grateful for the nonstop coverage of the 10 year anniversary today. It returned to me the smaller and just as important details. Even if it meant that I cried, a lot. It was worth it. A thousand times over.

The 9-11 remeberance fountain at the World Trade Center is beautiful. During the coverage this morning, I wondered if all of our collective tears would overflow that enormous architectural basin? I believe they would.

I don't believe it is a coincidence that on the 10 year anniversary my beloved grandmother is returning from Kabul, unable to endure the hardship of life in her war torn birthland. I will welcome her with open arms, and even more tears. I have missed her fiercely over the past 16 months. I spoke to her on the phone this evening. I told her it was 9-11's tenth anniversary. Although her memory has been failing her in recent months, she became quiet when I told her. And then, she whispered, "Do you remember them, just flying free through the air?" I had to swallow hard, the lump in my throat threatened to choke me.

I wore the same t-shirt all weekend. My old red flag t-shirt from Old Navy. It was one of those $5 t-shirts that Old Navy carries every year for Independence Day. Although it is faded and frayed, I can't bring myself to throw it out. It is from 2001. Another one of those smaller details.

So I will never forget.

So I will always remember.