Mother's Day this year was a complete 180 turnabout from last year's.....
http://kbl2ord2san2luv.blogspot.com/2008/05/mothers-day-weekend.html
My mom didn't want to see me no matter what I tried to say or do. And believe me, I've tried everything the last couple of months, but she doesn't want to come around. There are times when I feel that I can't take it any longer, the crossroad that I've been on since my wedding. I'm stuck in the midst of love and elation because of my blessed life with Ed and with our little family, and then on the flip side, stuck in the limbo of sadness and longing for the relationship I've lost with my mom.
It was a hard Mother's Day, the most difficult I've ever endured, and I hope to never endure again. My little sis is in Chicago for a couple of weeks, so I couldn't even hang out with her and make the time pass. I miss her a lot. I've gotten pretty used to having her in San Diego with me.
So, after running around losing myself in errands and chores, I finally sunk on to the loveseat tonight utterly exhausted. I was not successful in escaping the melancholy I've felt all weekend long. My only hope and prayer is that I now have 1 year until the next Mother's Day and maybe in this time my mom will come around. I hope. I pray.
In the meantime, I had constant shadows all weekend long. Golden ones, of course. Having our precious puppies, my beloved, and our jolly parrot, made this weekend bearable for me. Thank God for my little family. Behind the closed door of our home, I have happiness. It allows me to face all that awaits me on the other side of the door, including a mother whose anger and disappointment over my marriage still stings.
I've watched these videos over and over this weekend. They've made me smile every time. The videos of Achilles chillin' at the feet of Captain Morgan's cage were during my laundry folding....he just had to be right by me. My sweet old guy. And then there are the best buds, Achilles & Milo, getting their daily servings of massages. They've got it rough, huh? ;-)
9 comments:
I love your little family so much. So sorry about your mom. She is missing out on all that happiness that is behind the doors of your home. That's really sad and I'm so sorry you have to struggle through this relationship.
I heard Chris Isaak playing in the background. Love it! Love you.
You are an amazing person, and you have an enviable marriage. I'm so sorry your mom is angered and disappointed. My hope is one day she realizes how in love her daughter is, and how much her son in law loves her daughter, too.
Thanks Smileygirl, love you too! Yah, Chris Isaak suited my mood last night. It was a rockin' Saturday night 'round here. Laundry, tea, chocolate, Chris Isaak, melancholy, and oh, did I mention laundry? On a Saturday night? Yah. Don't come a knockin' because the house was NOT a rockin'.
Stephanie, thank you my friend. I'm sorry my mom is being this way as well. It sucks so bad and hurts even worse. Thank you for keeping us in your positive thoughts. You're a gem young lady. ;-)
Aw, Sweety, I'm sorry your mom still has yet to come around. Smiley's so right, she's missing out on so much love and happiness. I think you definitely have the right attitude about it, though, and I'm glad you're hoping that a year from now, things will have changed for the better. In the meantime, just rejoice in the knowledge of how very much BelovED and your Golden Boys love and adore you! I'm kinda fond of you myself ;-)
Sorry that this Mother's day is not a pleasant one for you...your Mom does not know the love and joy she is missing with you and Ed.
I am happy that you have made a new family for yourself...that you are a happy person. I pray that she will come around and realize this also.
Hugs-
Suz
I'm so sorry to read this. A mother's love should be unconditional. I pray she finds that in her heart soon.
My mom use to always tell me that I dont get to choose who I fall in love with, my heart will because the "heart knows what it knows". In a perfect world, you would have fallen in love with someone everyone approves of...in this world you fell in love with the perfect man for you. I promise that your mom misses you as much as you miss her, she will come around.
As a parent, I can only hope that my Maddie finds such happiness someday: a man who loves her and respects her and her faith! What more could a mother possibly want?
First, I suppose, I should get her out of preschool :)
Sending loving hugs to your very happy little family.
Dear KBL,
I am with your other commenters in sadness that your mom's hard attitude is causing you such pain, and agree that she is missing out on sharing your true happiness. I hope that the pain of longing in your heart is eased by the love of God, your sweet BelovED & the family you two have created, and your friends. I'm quite sure that your mom does still love you, but is trying to accomplish something (what? I dont' know!) with her coldness. What a waste. I love you, friend!
Time. That's what I count on. Not every family is marred by such sadness, but it sure seems that many are.Having a loved one shun you for whatever reason is painful and sad. I haven't seen nor heard the voices of my only grandchildren or only son in over 2 years. Long,sad story, but I live in hope and I would never wish that he & his wife (who it seems hates me)would have discord over me. Yesterday I heard a voice on the phone that filled me with joy. My 12 yr old granddaughter, Viola, called to say happy mother's day!! Time and baby steps honey. Call on the good Lord for comfort and live in hope. I've found that I can not and should not obsess over those things I have no control over.
Glad you had a good day with your fab pooches! And of course, you have your Ed.
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