The 1 Week Mark & a Million Waves of Gratitude

My sister teases me about how I have friends eeevvverryyyyywhere. “Everywhere!” she says. (The friendships I have made in Blogistan are completely confusing to her.)

How can I call people I’ve never met before my “friends”?

I usually ask something like, “How come you have a million friends on all your social networks??? Are they really your friends?”

Her comeback, “Well, I actually have stuff in common with those friends. We went to school together, blah, blah, blah…”

To which I immediately reply, “I do too! I have much more in common with my Blogistani peeps than you probably do with people you had one class with during freshman year.”

And so it goes for a few minutes until she gives up because I won’t let her win. And after the rally cry of comforting words, loving emails, uplifting comments, touching tributes on your own blogs, special prayers, and all manners of cyber-support, that we have received from my Blogistani peeps with Achilles’ death, my little sister will never win that debate. She just cannot.

Words are just that, simply words. And, yet, they have incredible power. Spoken, written, sung, what have you…your words have been immensely helpful and much appreciated in our home this week. You will never know how much.

I haven’t been able to comment back to any of you or follow up on your blogs for some time, but know that your words are always remembered and they mean a lot to me. For I do consider you as friends. My grandmother always tells us to gravitate towards those who make you want to be a better person, those who make you want to be more like them.

I am humbled by your words, and you all make me want to be an even better person. Every little action is truly the change I wish to see in the world, and I aspire to it.

It is no coincidence that my Blogistani peeps are by and large animal lovers. My blog is mostly about my furbabies. I started writing here as a result of Nick’s death. He was our first ever furbaby. I needed an outlet. I know there will be more now that Achilles has left us behind, but for now, we are focusing our love and energy on the Milo Bear. He is incredibly sensitive and a huge comfort to us right now. I owe it to him to have some time with no more life changes.

As animal lovers, I’ll tell you that I often associate you all with your pets when I’m telling Ed stories about you. I’ll say things like, “you know my nurse friend Amanda, the one with the fat, happy, handicapped cat? In Pennsylvania?”….and he’ll say, “Oh yeah, right, right. What about her?” And I’ll proceed to share an anecdote from our bloggin’ world.

Or, “You know Adam in Texas, your political pal with the Gorgeous Golden Girls, Molly and Tess?...Yah?....Well, you’ll never believe what Tess did…”

Or, “You know Sue from Florida with the two boxers? No? Remember the boxer butts photo? Ok, well did you know Cocoa the boxer is ODB just like Achilles? Oh and she found another garden snake and didn’t pass out…”

It goes on and on like that when we have conversations about my blog friends. I know each and every one of your pet’s names, and I talk about them as if they are real people. Some of you, like Laura, he remembers very well because he’s met you in person. Otherwise, everyone else is a blur of pet names, dog breeds, different states, and a jigsaw puzzle worth of information. I’m lucky he’s even listening half the time.

So, I would like to take a moment to thank you all, my bloggin’ friends, and to also thank your beloved pets, because they have contributed to making you the person that you are, whether you are aware of it or not. And like I said, your pets are probably the reason I decided to visit your corner of Blogistan in the first place. I fancy myself kind of an animal picture stalker. I’ll go through minor bouts of withdrawal if I don’t see pictures of your beloved babies for a while. I know, I’m weird.

A MILLION THANKS TO:

-Live Happy's Laura...for calling just to sing James Taylor to Achilles on Friday night. “How Sweet It Is” most definitely. Wrigley and Chumley are lucky furbabies. If ever there was a made for TV sitcom, Wrigs and Chums would be the stars. Of the two road trips Achilles ever took with us, both of them were to Laura's house from before she moved to Seattle. Wonderful memories.

-Adam's Molly & Tess, the Golden Girls of Texas, from their daddy's Just Golden blog. Adam wrote a touching post titled "A Simple Request" as a tribute to all dogs and to Achilles. His girls are gorgeous and love their human papa to pieces. He's an incredible man, and I can only imagine how special he will be with a lucky woman judging simply by how he treats his Golden Girls.

-There are 3 sisters out on the east coast that I think are the cat's meow. Literally and figuratively. I envy their closeness, but only in the sense that I wish I was as close with all of my sisters. I love their sisterhood. And I love their animals...specifically all of their cats: Princess Piglet of Pottstown Pennsylvania over at Amanda's Nurses Rock blog....and Andrew Eugene, Gretel Asparagus, Studley Dudley, and George, over at Helen & Mary Beth's Dudley & Friends blog. They had to say goodbey to Tigger the Cat last April, and I know their pain only too well. Oh, and who can forget the doggies Dickon and Morgun, and all the birds!

-Karyn's Beverly & Elvis over at Pretty in the City. The pictures she posts of her furbabies are priceless. Her sister also had to say goodbye to Chester the Cat a couple of weeks ago...again, an inevitable goodbye we'll all have to say to our beloved babies.

-Busy Bee Suz, a young lady in Florida, who honored the canine world by rescuing two gorgeous boxers with Angelina Jolie lips. They are Boxin' Adorable and share their home with 3 cats, fish, snakes, whales, marsupials, preying mantis, giraffes, and an assortment of garden snakes...Sue, no use denyin’ it...

-Live for Today's Sadie the Golden and her Gang of 5 Kitty Kats...I want to send her not only my thanks, but my condolences becauase she had to put Breeze to sleep yesterday.

-Happy Wife's Ruby & Diva, two HOT-lanta Queens....years apart in age, but not in spirit. Ruby and Diva's tribute to Achilles was beautiful. They have their own dog blog over at The Diva Diaries...check it out.

-Chitown Girl's Buster a.k.a. Snow Lover...he doesn't get any blog time really, much to my dismay. He is a patient sweet soul, lovingly waiting for his mama after her long busy days.

-Karen Gberger's Latte & Liger, the Kayaking Kats of Bainbridge Island...if you never thought a cat kayaked or rowed a boat...think again.

-Random Ramblings' Jack, Jill, and Kona, the Golden Trio of San Diego, and all their lucky Golden cousins. I want their life of sun, sand, and surf. Her loving tribute brought so many visitors to my blog, including a special one from Italy, Simona, who I've written about below...

-Lizziebelle's Touf over at Confesssions of a Serial Monogamist.

-Stephanie's Chloe & Zoe, so cute and showy (did I just rhyme?)...their mama's blog is awesome...Oranges Grow on Trees, check it out.

-Ferris & Cameron over at Golden Dreams..."Ferris & Cameron", get it? Bueller? Bueller? They are 2 lucky rescued goldens who came into their humans' lives after they sadly saw their Golden Fenway on his way to heaven.

-Ben's Silky over at his Streetpolo blog. He and his wife bid a noble farewell to Silky in March, and their hearts will never be the same. She was a beautiful girl and yes, you better believe that I scroll through all of my your past posts looking for great animals pictures. I love the photo of her gleefully swimming in a pool of accidentally spilled Cheerios, quickly gobbling up before any human gets the wise idea of cleaning the spill.

-Anne's doggie, Charlie, whose midnight dancing antics kill me.

-Simona's Paco & Milo in Italy...two Golden Retrievers whose mama's thoughtfulness has touched me greatly. Her Paco became a proud doggie papa on June 1st...

...and of the 10 puppies, one was a boy, and in honor of my Achilles, he was named "Achilles Sirio", which translated means Achilles Sirius...same as the dog star...

...the brightest star in the sky. Life brings me to my knees. Just as my Sweetface's heart ceased its beating, halfway across the world his namesake's heart continues....bless you Achilles Sirio.
Speaking of Sirius the dog star, another friend who was brought into our lives by our dogs is Maria, who herself has two Goldens, Bacchus & Dolce. She heard how sad Milo was this week and dropped off some treats for him, along with this beautiful card. How fitting to have received this card with a picture of a Dog Star. Thank you Maria. Milo loooooved his treats.
Laura sent a beautiful necklace all the way from Seattle, and I've been wearing my Achilles pendant all week. It's beautiful. A donation was made in Achilles' name to feral care as well, because unlike Milo, he liked cats. Thank you again Laura.

Then we've got Helen & Mick, who hail all the way from England. Back in 2007 we had recently adopted Achilles & Milo, and we'd taken them down to the dog wash for their baths, and then for some frozen yogurt afterwards...and as we were hanging out at the outdoor patio, along came Helen & Mick, on vacation from England, who stopped to say hello to our doggies, to tell us about how they missed their dog Toffee, patiently awaiting their return home, and before we knew it, we were having dinner, then breakfast, and we were friends. Since then we've kept in email contact and Helen's condolence email was a little piece of sugar. Thank you Helen & Mick. We miss you in San Diego!

I could continue, but I'd never finish this blog post...there are so many animal lovers out there that I have had the pleasure of meeting through this blog, and I thank you all.

And I want to thank OUR DOGS, who have brought amazing friends into our lives, from the cyber world and our "real" world. I've talked often and at length about Lynne & Amos, our dear, dear friends, who we would have never met if it hadn't been for our Golden Nick. We were out walking him one day a few years ago, ran ito Lynne and Amos, who had their Golden Girl Macky at home, and fast forward to today, and they are family. Achilles & Milo loved going to their home during our remodel. It was their second home, their Doggie Disneyland, as Lynne says.

A million waves of gratitude to all of my Blogistani friends and my "real world" friends. You all will never know how important you have been in our lives this week.

Well, it has been exactly a week since our Achilles left us. A sad week filled with longing and wishes that we could have him for just one day more. But for as heartbroken as Ed & I are, no one has felt his absence more than Da Milo Bear. That has been the most heartbreaking for me to watch. The first few days after Achilles' death, Milo barked at all the places he'd usually find Achilles, but he was not there.

We adopted Achilles & Milo on the same day from the rescue, but they'd never met each other before. For two old dogs who only spent 22 months together, they were awfully close. Milo was more stuck to Achilles than the other way around. He liked to follow Achilles' lead, he deferred to him on everything, including food, and Achilles was his favorite pillow. I'd often come home to find Milo's head resting on Achilles' belly, his backside, or simlply lying next to him.



I think he misses the company during the day the most. It's not that they were next to each other all day, but I think it broke up the monotony of the day while we were at work, knowing that he could go out and see his fellow Golden brother in the yard.









One of Achilles' all time favorite places to sleep was under the deck stairs, where it was shady and cool and breezy. It's dusty and dirty under there, but he LOVED it. He was "ODB", the Old Dirty Bastard, after all. Earlier this week I came home to find some of my socks had made their way outside and under the deck stairs. I know I didn't put them under there.

I could only conclude that Milo must have placed them there for his big brother, perhaps hoping he'd return if only he'd promise not to hog all the socks and toys. I'm sure he was hoping that Achilles would turn up again, if only to nap once more in his favorite spot.
The nights have been hard for Milo. He searches for Achilles in the bedroom, then gives up and lies down. He hasn't done it the last couple of nights though. Even though Milo likes his dog bed, he often preferred to sleep as close to Achilles as possible while with us in the bedroom.
But see, the thing is, that as hard as it is for Milo to not have his Golden kin around anymore, he has also been a tremendous comfort to us. We have been leaning on him to help us through this sad chapter of our lives. He knows something is awry, even though he knows that Achilles died last Saturday.

So, he comes up to us in every room and licks us with sweet kisses and smiles up at me as if to say, "It's ok mama, you still got me! I wuff you!" And knowing that this handsome mug is patiently waiting for me, for food, for a walk, for some petting, for some affection...well, it makes is a bit easier to feel that our Achilles is gone.





I have taken to calling him Da Milo Bear Angel of Mercy. He was there to love me after Nick died, even if he was only visiting for a weekend. And he's here now, after Sweetface. He has always been our family's protector.

These dogs, these dogs. I love them so. My animals are my heart. They are my family as much as Ed or my sisters or my parents. With the passing of Achilles, I spent this week remembering all that we experienced together in his brief time with us. Our home's remodel last year was done with Goldens everywhere, including the cement foundation.


I wanted our home's foundation to be built with a tribute to my little family, my oasis of happiness...Nick, Achilles, Milo, Captain Morgan, and Ed. When we poured concrete, one the Captain's feathers, Nick's fur, a photo collage with all of us, and some other "heirlooms" became a part of our foundation.



Somehow plain old cement didn't quite capture who we are.

As stressful and long as the remodel process was, I'll forever treasure the memories of eating take-out on the floor practically every night in a dust-filled, half-finished room with our Goldens.

While Milo helped us by painting, nailing, or cleaning up (ha ha), Achilles made sure he found the dustiest spot to catch a little nap. Did I mention he was ODB?


Laura made my necklace from that little picture of Achilles in the upper right. He was a doll.



No matter how messy it got during the remodel, Achilles, ever the mama's boy, would make sure he found the closest spot to me, even if it meant lying under the ladder.

If it got too noisy in the house, he'd run out and lie in the dirt (of course) under the palm tree. We didn't have our backyard done until November. Both of our boys missed having their backyard to roam during construction.

Funny thing is, even after the backyard was done, ODB still looked for the coolest dirt patch he could find for a little afternoon nap.

But, no matter how dirty he liked it, more often than not I'd come home from work and find Achilles in his favorite grassy, shady spot by the wall. My heart aches that I'll never see him there again, awaking from his nap, happy to know that a treat and a walk was soon to follow...


...or look out our bedroom window and see him happy and alive, surveying his yard...


My heart has been aching all week. It will always ache. Which is why I am that much more grateful for our Milo. After Nick died, our house was SO EMPTY. That first day after his death that we returned home from work, we could feel the life had been sucked dry of our home. That is not the case this time around. God bless you Milo for that.

Yesterday my little sister and I decided to treat him to a Friday night out with the ladies. We went to Pacific Beach and strolled the streets together. He was SO EXCITED. His nose was twitching a mile a minute with all the new scents around him. He peed on EVERYTHING, marking it ALL for himself. He sat patiently waiting for his grilled turkey burger, no condiments, just one slice of cheese, and 5 french fries.

He was happy-happy enjoying his very own peanut butter frozen yogurt treat. I usually give him just a little bit, but my sister spoils our dogs and made sure he had a *little* bit more.













He sure does love my little sister. Achilles was her special pup, and I think Milo knows that he has to step into that role now.

In this video you'll see the little cups I normally use to give our pups their yogurt treats....much, much smaller than the bucket my sister uses...

...thank God she only filled the bucket about 1/10 with yogurt, or else we'd have a diarhhea ridden Milo!


We didn't really plan to go to the beach since it was overcast and we weren't dressed for it, but when we got close to the water Milo just got so happy and excited. We decided to head on down.

This was the FIRST time we'd ever taken Milo to the beach, so I didn't quite know what to expect. While I didn't know what to expect from Milo, I don't know if I expected to hear my sister screaming bloody murder just because her jeans got wet. It was hysterical, and it felt good to laugh again.


As you can tell, he took to it like, well, like a Golden Retriever! He loved, loved, loved the water. Running all over the place, barking, smiling...


...or running over to sniff an unsuspecting lady's butt...it must have been that time of the month for her. Dogs just love to shove their noses in your crotch when Aunt Flo is visitin'.


It was a special night with Milo. We kissed and hugged him a thousand times. I hope that in time his doggie melancholy will be alleviated. I know he misses Achilles, we all do. It was an honor to know Achilles. He was a stalwart, hearty spirit with an incredible will to live. It is an honor to know all the dogs of our lives. If there are any of you out there reading this who do not have a pet, I encourage you to go out and rescue an animal, a refugee of our Earth. The love, loyalty, appreciation, and unbridled joy they will bring into your life will outweigh ANY and ALL of your life's problems. I promise you this. I promise you.

As I finish this post, I hear a knock at the door. The courier has arrived to deliver Achilles' ashes. With love and support from Milo and my little family, I'll open that door, sign for the discreet box, and try not to cry too much for what was once Achilles Sweetface. I know how much it upsets Milo when I cry.

Thank you again everyone. Thank you.